I had a client today lose sight of why she was starting a business. Two months ago she was enthusiastic, empowered, and totally clear about her purpose and why she was investing in her future. Today she was half assed about whether we should even have a coaching call.
What happened? This is an important topic because at some point, it happens to everyone who puts their ass on the line for something that matters to them! So what happened is simple: she broke some of the commitments she made to herself, what looked like little things at the time. “No big deal”, she would do them another time or even would do them next day – or not. She started to slip on some of what she said she wanted to accomplish and THEN started to numb her experience to that.
Even when the promises are to ourselves, we will act out our numbing behavior to avoid feeling bad about falling short of our commitment.
How did she numb herself? Isolating herself (hiding), eating more sugar, doing things that make her feel good in the moment but bad later, sleeping more, or watching TV. Whatever the numbing behavior is, the question is: What are you avoiding by eating that cookie? What are you trying not to feel by having that drink? By not going to the gym when you said you would how are you explaining it away? “ I need a break”, is a red flag for what?
The bad news is – it is considered completely normal to break promises to yourself, it is how we stay living an average life. If you share with someone else that you were too tired to do everything you said you were going to do today – they will “understand” which makes it even worse!
Being extraordinary is an unreasonable way to live and it takes something out of the ordinary to live that way…
I am taking my own coaching today:
- Making a list of incomplete items and then putting them in a calendar to get them complete.
- Taking a stand for living an extraordinary life that I designed
- Doing at least 1 thing TODAY that makes me really uncomfortable (to anchor this insight and move it towards a breakthrough).
This only happens once a year and once it is full, it is closed automatically.
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